Life is starting to get somewhat harder, with assessments and all from school
and many other things ^^.
which makes me wonder if life is every gonna get any easier....
the only dramatic good change in my life was meeting all my friends
(mostly those who support me the most) and Lan<3
But after that... after a few months of seeing Lan,
Everythings seemed to have gone downhill
even though the hill's tilt has eased up a bit, i still cant help
but feel a tad bit empty.... at least there are times when i can forget everything ^^
Everytime im with Lan, i just feel.... so at ease, everything seems so much easier
everything that was killing me... jus drops... i dont know why
but everytime im doing anything with Lan.... i just feel so happy...
Nothing seems to matter anymore when im with him...
sometimes hes like a little shining light... that i feel i cant quite reach...
is it bad to fell that? or am i being too clingy?
I often feel lonely at home and iwant to see him so badly
but he never seems to have any free time, so i always shove a sock in it
to not bother him in watever hes doing... is that being wimpy??
i miss all the things we used to do together
how i was always wrapped around in his warm arms
how he used to always talk to me about random stuff
how he always wanted mii to go places with him
or be alone with him or even.... yer....
lolz, i guess im jus asking for too much, like my chi in temple sed
"i think its kind of a waist em, i know that u will be hurt one way or another.
by him or ur parents, is it really worth the risk em?u can c the happiness in relationships right em? but have u looked at all the pain that can also result from that love em? u got growin apart, breaking up, fights, cheating,jealousy, envy, not knowing if they love you anymore and so many other things em. Do u really want to risk all that jus for a boy?"
i knew about the pain before chi, but... you cant help love
you cant jus shut off your feelings so easily... at least i cant
and to me, he isnt just a "boy", hes my everything ^- ^
this little feeling in my heart grows everyday
even if its hurt, i will still love him ^^
i love him now, and i dont plan on stopping
chi asks me " how do u know that its love, or if its just a lil burst of excitement"
mii "iunno chi, but wenever im with him, nothing bad seems to bother me anymores. I always want to see his smiling face. And wenever i think about him being with another girl, it just really hurts. is that not a good enough reason?"
chi *patson the head* "try to not get hurt em" ^^
Wishes
If all those bright stars up there in that dark night skye were wishes, who knows what wii can wish for. Everyone has a wish they always want to be granted. If i had a wish, i would wish for everyone to be happy. Even if something bad happened, i wish for them to have the strength to move on and try harder. So that everyone can smile, not a fake smile, but a smile that comes from the heart. A smile that is as bright as each and every shining star
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