I did an australian quiz thing about depression a while back and i had a 9/10
Today i did it again cause i really felt like killing myself like the usual
and i got a 10/10 surprisingly
so now on since so much things are screwin up my life im going to document
times that i cried, fell empty or jus plain want to kill myself
theres been many before this in the pass month or so but ill start today
18/08/11
Cried and want to die- i home from shopping for my assignment and i was about 20 mins late for the time mum assigned 8.30 because we got lost. Mum comes in swearing in my face. saying how worthless and useless of a person i am. Says all i ever do is cried and then just go back to my uselessness verbally abusing me and all. then she goes outside and starts laughing with the rest of my family
I really feel as if im adopted. i wouldnt mine if i did cause it would really show why they keep treating me like im a piece of shit. I dont want to live a world where my "parents" treat me no better then a stanger. At times like this i really jus want to get a knife and stab myself in the chest so that i could die and leave everything behind for them. So they know how much pain they put me through since the minute i was born. No one seems to know these things until its too late. If i did kill myself like that at least theyd treat my little brother Quang better right?....
Wishes
If all those bright stars up there in that dark night skye were wishes, who knows what wii can wish for. Everyone has a wish they always want to be granted. If i had a wish, i would wish for everyone to be happy. Even if something bad happened, i wish for them to have the strength to move on and try harder. So that everyone can smile, not a fake smile, but a smile that comes from the heart. A smile that is as bright as each and every shining star
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